Monday, January 05, 2009

April 21, 2007
Day 7
Edsa Shangrila Hotel
10:00 pm

I have never been so depressed all my life like right this very moment.

I wanna bang my head on the wall in frustration and curse by the hotel room window if only...IF ONLY I could be where the boys are now. T_T;

Yes.

They're not with us anymore.

Can you imagine the solemnity of everyone's faces right now as I type. I've been staring into space for 2 hours now, thinking if I just dreamt of the days that passed, and I can't believe, as I hold the rim of my new glasses and feel my necklaces on my throat, that everything just happened.

How amazing and wonderful...but how frustrating as well.

I've cried my eyes out today...it's as if somebody took somebody too precious from me...

Well...that's right actually.

Oh Andy...*cries*

This morning it was actually shocking and funny at the same time. I remember that after I said good night to you, I laid on my mattress, in between Nerie and Rhanie (as usual..haha!) and listened to everyone just talk. We ended up talking till 3 am until no one was talking anymore and the boys where shushing us. Haha! The lights were turned off and the only light we had in the room was the moonlight. Man it was beautiful. Before I actually closed my eyes, I reached on top of my head and tapped Andy's head...he reached out his hand and held mine...hehehe...I slept like that...and I knew that in the morning, my arms will hurt. But what was weird was when I opened my eyes this morning and nothing hurt. I stirred and checked my watch, it was already 6 am. We're all suppose to start jogging at 7. It would've been great to jog one last time with the boys, and see the beautiful sunrise...I rubbed my eyes and turned around to wake up Nerie (she's on my left side) only to realize...Nerie's NOT BESIDE ME AT ALL. O_O;

I want you to guess who's beside me. Haha.

Not Rhanie...actually, I got shocked to realize that it's not Rhanie on my right too. @_@; Shocking. I swear I never imagined ever in my life, to wake up beside...hmmm..

I looked like this : O_O when I realized that the person beside me (on my left side, supposedly Nerie's place) had HIS arms around me, I was wondering what was wrong with Nerie when I woke up, that's why I wanted to wake her up cause I was feeling heavy already. Haha. Anyway...I woke up beside ANDY. NOW HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? I do remember and I am not insane that I would forget that all the girls slept on one row..and the boys slept on ANOTHER ROW...now how in the world did this whole setting happened?!

I stared at him though...I stared at his face...I've looked at him sleeping for like a lot of times this whole week, but NEVER this CLOSE. I can feel his breath on my hair..I totally went *blink* *blink* *blink* *blink* to make sure I wasn't in dreamland. I mean, me waking up earlier than the others is more than weird. OHOHOHO~ I wanted to touch his face but I was scared everything would be a dream. I faced the ceiling again and wondered how in the world am I going to take his arms off me...keke! although I swear, I had this urge NOT to take it off anymore and just sleep till tomorrow. I'm so bad...but our flight is at 10 so noooo...T_T; As if on cue, he stirred and took his hands off, I always get this even with my cousins...when I want them to take off their hands I just think about it and they DO. Haha, after a while. xDDD

The moment he did, I slowly sat down and looked at the others. Man what different positions we have. Haha. I'm beside Andy, on my right side, it's Rhanie and HYESUNG...on Andy's left side is Nerie and DONGWAN. Above Rhanie is JUNJIN and Gab, above me was Meg and ERIC and then above Nerie is Kate and MINWOO. @_@; Positions anyone? keke. Rhanie and Hyesung are facing each other, Gab and Junjin facing the ceiling, Eric's arms took the same position as Andy's except it's around Meg and not mine. kekeke~ Nerie...doesn't know that she's NOT sleeping on her pillow but Wannie's right arm. xDDD Well if that's way way way weird, just look at Kate, but then again, that's usual this week...she's lying on Minwoo's chest in a fetal position. AIGOOO~

I decided to wake up Meg (I'm so bad am I? hehe) she stirred and asked what time it was her eyes closed. GOOD THING. Haha. I told her it was already 6 am and that she should open her eyes and TRY NOT TO FRET. She did, and MANNNNNN imagine her expression when she found out who was beside her. Haha. Somebody did some switching last night?! I have no idea. Cause apparently, I am not insane, cause if I was Meg would've known who did this to us. Haha. I decided to wake the girls up, slowly, cause Meg can't do so...she's trapped. Haha. I decided on Rhanie and she totally went O_O when she saw a CAT - CRAB sleeping beside her. Keke. I woke Gab next, haha...the expressions on your faces when you guys woke up I swear!!! Nerie came next...who went kasjflksadjl;fajsd;lkfjldsfjlsdjlf when she saw where she was sleeping. Haha. She was like, "what happened? what happened?" Kate came last, and...she didn't found it weird...lol, I mean she found it weird we're all sleeping NOT beside each other, but she didn't found it weird she woke up sleeping on Minwoo's chest. She closed her eyes again. -_-;

I went to the comfort room and brushed my teeth, the girls all did this. Haha. I wonder why...hehe. It's kinda embarrassing to the boys talking to them in the morning without brushing our teeth I guess? I went back to my mattress and decided to take pics of Andy. Mann he's soooo like a child when sleeping. @_@; I took pictures of the other boys...hehehe. I have something to blackmail them one day. hehe. Apparantly the girls all think the same as they took pics of everyone else..I took a picture of Kate and Minwoo and then told her she should go and brush her teeth after Nerie. She did. After she did, Eric stirred, Meg wasn't on his side anymore...and good thing we are finished with the cams and just staring at the boys sniggering and totally in awe with the whole situation. Anyway Eric stirred and opened his eyes, he then went "Meg?" and FRACCKKK BEDROOM VOICE!!! AISHHH. Meg went, "I'm here..." and he seriously grabbed her and she had to lay beside him again. Eric closed his eyes after this and we all bursts out laughing...which woke everyone up. HAHAHA. WE ARE SOO BADDD. Junjin opened his eyes and smiled at Gab and said Good Morning, he then stood up and went to the comfort room to wash his face and brush his teeth too. Kekeke~ The boys all took their toothbrushes in our bathroom last night. Anyway...Minwoo was like Kate, Kate went back next to him after she brushed her teeth and went back to sleep, Minwoo hugged her and closed his eyes again. -_-; Haha. Hyesung said Good Morning to Rhanie and everyone else, and went to the comfort room to brush his teeth his eyes still closed. I swear I was shocked at this. He asked for a towel from Rhanie afterwards...lol~ Dongwan woke up and went all freaked out Nerie's not beside him anymore...Nerie went to find sweetpotato actually, hehe, when picked the dog up, who was sleeping by the door...and told Wannie that she was just right there. Lol~ Andy.....woke up last. HAHA. He covered his eyes with the blanket and went, "Angel..." I went, "what?" and he whined and reached for me and grabbed and I was on the same position as I was the moment I woke up. Haha. As much as I want to stay like this forever, I can't...so I nudged him and told him to wake up already...it's 6:30 and we have to prepare. When the boys heard this one by one they went to the comfort room, washed their faces and brushed their teeth.

I swear waking up to that was soo weird, but special. I asked them what happened and Minwoo sleepily told us they switched us this morning when we all dozed off. That's why they were shushing us so they could've switched us earlier. -_-; Haha.

We all went out at 7:30 and jogged...just a short distance, and took pics...MAN IT'S THE LAST DAY :( I don't want it to be the last dayyy.. We ate at the Red Coconut for the last day, and I swear I wished it was the first day again. Aunt Marie took an appearance and treated us one last time. She was all, come back here again okay? and as much as I want to answer yes...I just smiled at her. The boys however went, "ofcourse!" and I just wanted to hold onto that...T_T;

at 8:30 the crew had already fixed our stuff outside the cottages and asked for porters to transfer our stuff on the boats. It's really time to say Goodbye...I don't want. T_T: Well it's not just me...the girls were all feeling glum about this. We took our backpacks and started off to the boats. Took one last picture outside the cottages, by the hammocks, by the boat...and at 9:15, the boat left boracay...and good thing I'm on my sunglasses, cause a tear just fell. I leaned on Nerie's shoulders as I took pics of the island as it came out view...I'll seriously miss that Island. My heart is about to burst in pain.

We arrived at the airport and we remembered that we have to turn on our phones again, with the old sim cards ofcourse. An SMS came through all our phones when we opened it. It was so weird so we all opened it. We were going to ride the plane at this time. I checked what it was about and went O_O when I read what it says...

From : Kim, Nicky
ANGEL!!!!! SHINHWA'S IN BORACAY!!! I JUST FOUND OUT THIS MORNING!!! OMG!!! WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!!!

*blink* *blink*

WHAT?!

WHAT?!

HOW DID THEY FOUND OUT?!

Nerie's phone rang and Wannie answered it for her, thinking it's her sister...and can you imagine the shock expression on my face when Wannie went, "Nerie it's Nicky..." and Nerie totally went sakjfldjfalksjfkhdgklshfjadsk;f GIVE ME THE PHONE!!!!! and shush the boys up. lol~ We're all debating how they found out. Nerie took the phone and talked to Nicky and told her she was shocked at the news. WE ALL WERE!!! Nicky was asking to meet up with us in the airport cause she found out that Shinhwa's going to be leaving the Philippines at 12 tonight...so she said we'd all meet at the airport around 8... @_@; As much as we want to tell Nicky all about it, (and that Wannie actually as the one who answered her call...), we can't. It was a sad thought...not being able to share this whole thing with everyone... I suddenly felt bad, but well...that's how it is. T_T;

The boys got shocked that it leaked. We were shocked as well, I guess we weren't that cautious? Whatever happened? It's not that we are selfish people but we do want to share the experience, however, it's not possible and this is really going to get us in big trouble. I asked the girls if anyone texted them that they saw us in Bora, no one did. The SMS' said that Shinhwa were seen today riding the boat...other than that, they didn't see anything else. The source said that Shinhwa were with their crew and other than them shooting a HOT video, there was no news about them with 6 girls at all...just that there were crews and some extras with them...I guess we're the extras? Haha. Oh well. Our friends are disiminating the information and are all going to the airport at 8pm to wait for Shinhwa. We told Shinhwa this and they weren't really concerned that they got found out, what they were concerned about was if we'd get caught. It's not going to look good. Can you think about the thoughts that would go through one person's head if they found out that Shinhwa came with 6 of their fans and spent 1 whole week with them? Not all thoughts are kind you know. Not everyone will understand...T_T; The plane already took off and we were thinking what to do when we get down from the plane, we didn't know how to get everything done. We were panicking. This is the first time something like this happened to us, and now I know how it feels to be a star...Ahh the disadvantages.. T_T; The crew calmed us down, and told us they'd handle the situation. When the plane landed (Nerie got the call when she was fixing Wannie's and Her's stuff, the plane was about to take off at this time...Nicky just got lucky the phone wasn't turned off yet.) we were the first ones to go down, Shinhwa and the crew were left in the plane, we had to carry our backpacks ONLY and they'd just get the bags to follow. We rode a cab instead of approached the man waving banners (which btw, said SHINHWA -_-;) and proceeded to Edsa Shangrila Hotel (near Megamall...why hello there my thesis place! haha xD), when we got there they asked us if there's a reservation and good thing GOODEMG or whoever reserved the rooms said our names instead of Shinhwa. Whew. We're back to were we started. We got into the rooms getting worried that we might not see Shinhwa again...I mean they didn't say they'd follow, they said our BAGS will follow. I was on the verge of tears when out of Nowhere, Nerie squealed. I looked at her and asked why...She raised the bag she was carrying...It was WANNIE's. Haha. Oh well, that was a relief...I don't think I would've loved it that I didn't get to say goodbye to Andy or Minwoo or the rest of the boys. That's totally going to be depressing.

We stayed in the hotel for like an hour and then Shinhwa knocked on our door and got the baggages in. They seemed tired, man they had to carry our bags, and Wannie got confused were he placed his bag. xD Nerie went skjfkljafhdlkfhkfhs looking for Sweetpotato, but she / he is already with the crew...very well taken care of. After settling in the hotel room they asked us were we wanted to eat...and we just said somebody could go down and buy something from Edsa Shang...or Podium. The boys went, what are those places? are those malls? hehe. They wanted to go out, the idiots. We had to SMS our friends and ask them where they are (coupled with reasons on why we were asking, man this is feeling so bad T_T;) and when we were sure they're nowhere near, we decided to go in Edsa Shangrila Mall...the Podium was just...TOO SMALL. -_-; When we got there we decided on a place to eat, I just remember it's on the 6th floor. Hehe. I'm stupid with restaurant names, it does have something GREEK on it. Dunno what name really. We ate for a while, it's normal foreign food so it was all okay, besides we weren't thinking about the food anymore, we're worried we'd be seen. -_-; We had to wear shades and caps and we look likes thieves. Hehe. After a while we decided to hang around Starbucks. An idea sparked in our heads...the thing we've been wishing most to happen. :D

By partners we went to the counter and ordered drinks, when the cashier asked the name, the lad we were with told his name. Hehe. So can you imagine the brilliant feeling when their names got called out loud? "Chocolate cream chip and mocha frappoccino for Andy." WAAAAAAAHHH!!! I just totally grinned like this : ^___________________________^ When his name was called and he took the frap for me ♥3 Dongwan gave Brian instead of Dongwan. Hehe. Nerie was suggesting he just say Wannie, but he didn't want to. Arguements. xD Hehehe. Hyesung had to say Steve. Haha. I swear I totally flipped on my chair when his name was called and he was looking -_____________-; hehe. Minwoo gave Minwoo...Junjin gave Junjin, and well if Eric gave Jung Hyuk I think I would've fallen on the 1st floor laughing. xDDD

I noticed, well WE all noticed that NOT once did the boys smoked. We asked them this...they just smiled and said it's actually surprising for them too that they didn't even desired to smoke...and besides, they know one of us is asthmatic *raises hand* and we didn't actually like them smoking. I really appreciated that...and no one drank beer too. We've been drinking fruit juices and sometimes soft drinks or iced tea, but other than that...we'd just drink water and no liquour. Isn't that nice? The girls and I thanked them for this, and they said it was nothing. At around 3 we just went around the mall, I actually wanted to buy Andy something. Haha ♥ I did though, I bought something from Oxygen (I tried that spray on him, the one I loved, GAS? I tried it on him and it smelled soo much better on him, I just had to buy two. xD One for him and Me ^^) and shirts from Penshoppe. Haha. Nerie just had to point out I'm a penshoppe girl. xD Oh well. ^^ We went around in twos just buying stuffs and agreed to meet by the fountain on the ground floor at 5pm. I had fun trying out clothes for Andy...man that was so cool ^^

Andy and I were going around shops when I noticed somebody familiar eating at Mcdonalds by the food court. It was my aunt Jhing with her family. I asked Andy to stay by the DIGIPRINT booth for a while and approached them feeling too excited. My aunt got shocked that I was there, she knew I was in Boracay, I said I just came home this morning and is buying something with my friends. She looked for them, I said they're around. You know why I'm so excited? Baby Charles was with them!!! My little boy, he smiled to me and called my name, "Ate Ken!" and totally smiled and I wanted to cry at how perfect the timing is. I asked my aunt if I can take Charles for shopping for a while, I'll be bringing him back at 5. My aunt totally said yes, Hehehe...less kid to carry. ♥ I promised Charles' brother I'd buy him something, I can't take them both... ^^ I got Charles and approached Andy. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE SAW ME WITH BABY CHARLES? T_________T; I swear I wanted to cry. I told him we'd take him shopping, I've never really bought anything for Baby Charles...ahhh this is just too perfect. Charles looked at Andy and smiled. My heart just melted, especially when Andy kneeled and hugged him. I SWEARRR. Andy carried him and we proceeded up to the children stores to buy Charles something. I was seriously in total glee with this. OMG. I think I've gone nuts. We bought him some clothes and toys and Charles was going all, "Ate thank you. Ate I love you..." I smiled at him and said it's okay. I whispered in his ears (while Andy looked on smiling, holding a cute teddy bear in his arms) and baby Charles smiled shyly. Andy kneeled and Baby Charles approached him and whispered, "Daddy Thank you...Saranghae." I bit my lips and smiled at Andy. Haha. He got shocked. I have the power of manipulation. Hehehe. It was just too sweet. We went down to the merry-go-round and let Baby Charles ride the merry-go-round while I took pictures of him. He's all grown up now, 4 years old. ♥ Talks better too! ^^ After that I took pics of Baby Charles and Andy and then I joined them. We waited by the fountain, it was already 4:45pm. Baby Charles and Andy played with the water...AHHH I just looked at them and took pics. That was the very moment of my life that I was seriously considering of looking for a priest and marrying Andy. @_@; I SWEARR.

At 5 on the dot, I heard a scream from the escalators...It was Rhanie. She went, "Baby Charles!!!" and ran to where we are..she totally went akjflkajflksdjf;ls when Andy carried Baby Charles and Baby Charles went, "Ate Rhanie!". I can still see that expression on Rhanie's face when I stood beside Andy and she was like, "OMG ANGEL...." I KNOW CUZ. I KNOW. Hyesung commented that they look like each other...waaaahhh and took pics. I'm going to die now. T_T; I can't type any longer waaaaaaahhhh~ Spazz Spazz Spazz. Nerie and the rest came, lots of shopping bags. Haha. They totally went akjflkjglkdjflkjsdfoiaweuijlkfadjglkjdlgjsld OMG ANGEL CHARLES AND ANDY skjflakjflksjflksjdflkaslfslkjf ;sa WHERE DID YOU FIND CHARLES?jak kjsfkajsdfkjhfkjshdfk jahsk f OMG!!! Hahaha. I know girls! I know!!! WAAAAAAAAHHH~ We took another round of pictures by the fountain and I am more than thankful to God that there's like few people in Edsa Shang and that he brought Baby Charles in the same place as we are, at the very right time. The feeling is sooo wonderful, it warms my heart and it makes me cry...EVEN NOW. My aunt started looking for me and I told her I'll meet her up at the food court. Charles bid them all goodbye, with a very tight hug for Andy. He even kissed Andy's cheeks and I had to STOP MYSELF FROM CRYING. T_T; I took him to his mom and gave them the shopping bags. My aunt got O_O when she saw the bags, and the toys and the BRANDS. Haha. I just said they're from a very good and close friend of mine whom is with me. She looked for the friend, I said I'll show my friends to them someday. ♥ She got convinced and said a lot of thank you. I said I'll see them home by Tuesday. When they walked away, Baby Charles turned to me and smiled. For some reason, I feel as if he knew what I was feeling...and he understands the whole meeting Andy thing...He waved to me and blew me a kiss. ♥ I kept it ^^

I went back by the fountains and we all started to go back to the Hotel. We got to the room and ordered sandwiches, that'll be our dinner, they had to leave at 6:30 or else they'd be late with their flight...the traffic in Manila is seriously demented. They fixed their stuffs and fitted the shopping we bought...it was all too soon to last. I helped Andy fit the stuff in his bag...I swear I can't imagine the next moments. I just want to cry. At 6, the crew knocked and took the bags by the lobby and told them the vans are waiting downstairs. We had one last shot with the crew and hugged them all one by one and thanked them. What beautiful souls. They went down and we all stared at each other. I was on the verge of crying...actually a tear already dropped, I just wiped it away immediately. The sandwiches came and we ate them as fast as we could, at 6:15 we're already going out of the hotel room. We planned to come with them up to the airport...but judging from the info that fans are going there, it's not a good idea. When we got out of the rooms we stopped by the hall and I just couldn't stop myself I hugged Andy tight. The girls followed suit. This is the hardest part. GOODBYE.

My tears just started falling on by one and I just held onto Andy's arms not wanting to let go. Sobs could be heard on the hallway...I was thankful no one could hear us... T_T;

Andy : Angel...Angel...Angel...
Me : *shakes head* No No No...
Andy : Angel...Angel Lee...
Me : *cries some more*
Andy : Come on stop crying...You're making me cry.
Me : *still cries*
Andy : If Angel cries...Andy cries too.
Me : (I bit my lower lip and looked up at him) Andy-yahh...Saranghaeyo...

I covered my eyes and just let the tears fall. He chuckled and took my hands off my face and looked at me. His eyes are sparkling...with tears? I don't know. He's wearing those specktacles I totally love...he looks like a geek but he's soo cute...I continuously cried and covered my eyes again, I don't even know what's happening to the girls anymore...I can just hear the boys comforting everyone else. I felt Andy's hand take my hands from my eyes, and I was shocked when he took off his glasses and placed it on me. "Remember me okay? Remember me..." He said smiling and sniffing at the same time. I nodded and cried some more...he hugged me tight and kissed my forehead. How can I forget you Andy-yah? How can I exactly? I would remember everything for the rest of my life even if YOU FORGET ABOUT IT... OMG. My heart totally broke. I didn't know it could've felt that much painful. After a while he let go and I hugged the other lads and said goodbye, I hugged Minwoo tightly and he said, "Princess take care okay? Take care...I won't be here to take care of you anymore...I love you." and I totally cried again. @_@; I kissed his cheeks and let go immediately. I kissed Andy's cheeks one last time and took a step back, ready to let go. The girls did the same. The boys smiled, sniffed, and took a step forward...they walked slowly and when they were about to turn left to the elevators, they gave one last wave...and disappeared.

AND THAT WAS IT.

We all went inside the hotel room and sat on the bed...some of us sat on the sofas, some on the floor, some by the windows. I just stared into space and laid on the bed and continuously cried. It was like something so huge fell on my lungs and is making it so hard for me to breathe. I seriously want to step out of the door and follow them, but I know that I can't. It went for like an hour and I thought everything would just suddenly end. Nerie laid next to me and stared at the ceiling, her tears falling continuously. Meg was sitting on the sofa with Gab, both with puffy eyes. Kate laid next to Nerie, and Rhanie followed. I didn't know what to do.

At 7:30 we got a call from Nicky asking us if we'd be going, Nerie answered the call and said she can't go cause she was feeling sick. She sounded sick. Man we really want to go...TT TT Everyone SMSed Nicky and told her reasons why we can't go. It's more painful lying. TT TT We wished them luck with taking pics and meeting Shinhwa...

At 8 we received an SMS saying they saw Shinhwa come in the airport, describing the clothing...even the sad expressions on some of the members' faces.

At 9 about 20 SMS' got through each and everyone's phones, all about Shinhwa in the airport.

We were all staring into space at this time, trying to munch on some of the food we ordered (Meg and Nerie insisted we should eat. Gab agreed to this and we ordered food) the cellphones just rang and sounded and we didn't minded them. TT TT

At 10, I opened the laptop while the girls decided to sleep early instead...and here I am it's 12 am of April 22, 2007...Shinhwa's officially not in the Philippines anymore...

How am I feeling?

NUMB.

I don't know what to do, I don't even want to look at all the pics and videos in this laptop just incase I start to cry again. I don't want to listen to SHINHWA singing, because I might cry all over again. Oh the pain...

I'm going to sleep, the girls are already dozing off. Kate and Nerie slept first. Rhanie followed. Meg and Gab tried to laugh it off, but now they're preparing to go to bed too. I'm going to join them and sleep.

It has been the most perfect week EVER in my life.

Now it has to end.

As painful as I am feeling right now, I am REALLY THANKFUL...The week was just amazing, and even if I want to die from the pain I am feeling right now, I don't think I would've been serious though...for that week I want to remember in every single waking hour of my life...starting now. I'll sleep this off. I'm sure I'd be fine tomorrow morning.

Good night.

And oh yeah...

Thank you for being there in the whole duration of the Getaway with me. Everything's in here...I'm going to read them later on and remind myself of EVERYTHING that ever happened in my life and on how perfect everything can be... ♥ I love you.

I yearn for the Kiwi King,
ANGEL

Angel Lee updated at 9:35 AM